How can emptiness be so heavy? 
And sometimes this emptiness becomes sadness
And sometimes that sadness becomes so deep 
You can't even cry 
Silence takes the place of cry or tears
I have been pulling myself out of dark places since I was a child 
Struggling
Crying
Sometimes happy but not for so long
Loneliness 
I thought 
I was getting better
I honestly did
But 
I reach the same place everyday again and again
It sucks because 
For a minute I was happy
For a minute I was getting better
For a minute I had hope
But in a minute I lost it again 
I spent full of days and full of nights 
just to figure out 
what is wrong with me ?
What is happening with me 
It is hurt 
It is hurt a lot 
But I always keep it with myself so that it does not hurt anybody else
My heart is so tired of all the things
And all of a sudden
I felt really tired 
like the world has drained me
for everything that I had
I am not depressed 
I am not broken
I am not empty
I am exhausted emotionally 
spiritually
physically
I just need someone to hold me 
Someone real 
Someone who knows what it is like to have a deep heart 
This version of me was not built over night
This is experience
This is Pain
This is Insecurities
This is the depression I had to go through
Things to get to the level I am at now
I think according to my experience 
The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand
We listen to reply 
Why is she a strong girl ? 
Because she walks everyday on the verge of tears and you don't even have the slightest clue that she is not doing well
I hate people
Who assume your life is easy
Just because you don't talk about the things you are going through 
I am the type of person who will never tell you that what you do hurts me
I will just pretend what you do 
Does not hurt me 
And that the everything is fine 
And that is the worst part of not telling them
They keep hurting you in their best manner
Take action at the right moment 
Stop them from hurting you part and part
Toxic people do not apologize 
They explain why they did it
All she ever wanted was a shoulder just for cry
For happiness 
For sharing 
For caring