I remember the time when I just kept my phone aside and looked towards the sky with no memory of the past. I consoled myself, stood in the terrace for hours gazing at the evening sky leaving behind the patches of orange clouds all over the sky. It wasn't going to be easy to live with the fact that it was “all over”. 

I rolled myself on the bed waiting for the night to pass. I realized I had not eaten anything since the afternoon and my stomach refused any quantity of food. Tears rolled down my eyes. Refusing to accept the fact that it was all over and that I had to live on. Mornings were hard but nights were harder. Days went by and  one fine morning I looked at myself in the mirror unable to recognize who I had turned into. 

It wasn't the ‘moving on’ that was difficult anymore rather it was the memories. The memories of every little thing that happened exactly one year back. Everything was pinned in my brain and it refused to erode.  The band-aid from my wounds came off but the wounds did not heal. I realized that 'memories' are the only thing that can refrain me from moving forward. It took me time to create a space in my mind where I could bury those memories and think about myself first. 

I finally decided to pick myself up from this mess that I had created with my life. My life did not deserve this and I had to re-create my happy space. Slowly, I took a step forward, made a to-do list, binged watched my favorite shows, called back my friends and counted on them. I refined my life cycle and did things that made me happy.   

You know it's never easy to forget the whom you loved but it's pertinent to find a way through which you can feel alive again. Nothing is impossible The constant pain that you feel will refuse to leave, if you do not put in a fight. The phase teaches you a lot and brings you in coordination with your brain and heart. 

Today after almost a year I'm in a much better state of mind. I have come a long way in my life and everything that happened in the past has taught me a lot. I take that as a lesson for my life and try each day to achieve my small goals.