I see you trying your best to hiding your  pain and  to act it's doesn't pain when you breathe. with every moment when your heart beats , you feel chest aches and you don't cry and tears burn deep down in you and you don't feel anything. nothing matter you, you always feel pain and it hurts. you feel that  pain feels so deep, that you don't know if you will be able to  fight with it or you will lose the hope. I know that the emotional pain hurts as deeply as physical pain, both pain are equal and I know you are trying to get out of it . you feel like This fear threatens to drown you and you'll never get out of it. I know you're trying to control the pain, and pretending as if nothing happened and everything is alright, but I also know you're uncomfortably  suffering through this pain alone..

You are drowning, drowning in thoughts, drowning in a emotions of uncontrollable feeling . I know you understand that peace is what you want and that the peace is within reach, but you are so much consumed in the pain and now you are panicking. scared that you will not be able to breathe the peace again, that you will be go through this pain once again, and some invisible force will take hold of you and pull you out so deep that the shore will no longer be an option. I understand the emotional and feelings that are causing you pain are like waves washing you. They pull you under, overwhelm you, tire you out untill you feel nothing but exhaustion. I see you with the lifebuoy in your hand, your will to live slowly extinguishing while you decide the effort it will take to get you to shore. I'm waiting there for you with the blanket of love to wrap you in tightly. I'm with you even when you finally decide that the comfort of the shore requires too much effort. When you choose to hold on to your pain, not realising that it is the one thing that both keeps you afloat and threaten to eventually drown you.

I see you suspended in your loneliness, choosing to wallow in your pain rather than swim to shore. Your friends call out to you from the shore; they reassure you that you don't need to face the pain alone anymore. And o see you turn back on them, crying in shame, deeply uncomfortable with what is happening. I know that you fear both the safety of their support and the comfort of being alone. I see the tears flow down your cheeks but you have become so used to the pain that you fear no longer feeling it. Your eyes beseech me; they ask why I don't swim out to you, why I don't ease your pain and help you through your exhaustion while I guide you to the shore. The thing is, I know that you shouldn't go into the water with someone who is drowning. Your sheer panic and desperate need to be saved may drown both of us while I seek to pull you ashore. So I have thrown you the lifebuoy and I'm here, comforter in hand.☺️💙