As a kid,

angels seemed like the best creation ever.

I hadn't seen them of course,

but deep down, it made perfect sense.

Somewhere down life's line,

I lost sight of God's beautiful creation

and stared at moonless nights -

why did the moon take away my hope with it?

I'd sit there,

transported myself into Winter Wonderland

and watched the snow fall,

the chill freezing my heart, tainting my memories.

This ritual caused me to go numb

to any and every emotion under the Sun.

Angels were nonexistent and

God blurred out in my periphery.

The icicles formed steadily around my heart

and froze shut the world about.

The world's power to wield the mind was such.

I yearned to feel alive once again,

to feel alive in the shiver of the snow

in my Winter Wonderland.

Is that too much to ask?

Love came knocking so so many times.

Each one with a reason to vapourise

my crystalized heart.

I tried friends, family -

the result was the same.

One night, I decided to lay under the stars.

The moon shone, bright and glistened alongside the stars.

"Where's my angel? Where's my hope? Why did you crush my spirit?"

I cried for hours until the

moon's spherical was occupied by the sun.

Come December,

my heart felt a warmth so strange and new.

These frozen icicles took me back to

my winter wonderland to fully feel what I was feeling.

I'm supposed to be frozen shut, yet

I could feel coursing through my veins

love, so abundant, that yearned to be given.

What am I supposed to do?

Who am I supposed to go to?

I'd tried the people around me and the moon with no success.

I decided to fall at Christ's feet, not expecting any change or answer.

How wrong had I been.

Since then, i haven't turned my back.

My winter wonderland made sense now.

I'd frozen there, but i had to go there

to feel these frozen icicles turn

into a tapestry of diamonds.

Diamonds of love that Christ planted in me.

You see,

He gave His life for me so that

I can live a life where I don't have to freeze shut

everyone and everything out of my life.

I didn't have to bear the guilt of freezing shut.

I could enjoy the cold without having to feel

so isolated all the time for being just me.

I could allow Him walk into my heart

and fill me with love that could unfreeze the world, too.

As I spent more time in His presence,

I witnessed the snow of my winter wonderland melt

my heart's frozen icicles and walls.

If He can do that for me, He can do that for you! ❤️