Do you boast of a bestie of the opposite gender? 

Do you find it complicated to clarify to the community? 

Are there numerous questions raised by acquaintances regarding your status? 

The closeness involving a boy and girl is questioned by everyone at all times.  It is generally believed that people of opposite gender cannot be friends without a romantic penchant.

Let us talk about such a companionship. It is an infrequent yet an exceptionally beautiful enduring bond. Occasionally, the boy and girl do not have romantic thoughts but are simply best friends. If there is no attraction, crush or desirability, they can be the closest of friends just like those of the same sexual category.

The two individuals involved here share an emotional attachment and have immense respect for each other. If there is affection, care, admiration and support; it lasts a lifetime. A true friend stays with you forever, regardless of their gender. 

The universal dilemmas faced by such best friends are:

• Folks constantly assume you are a couple. They may, possibly, find it complex to comprehend your friendship. It becomes hard to explain that you are a together forever type of friend.
• They believe you might be gay, that you hang out with someone of opposite sexual characteristics. It may turn out to be tricky to give details why you feel friendlier with them than anyone else. The gender makes no effect on friendship. A straight person can have such a friendship for life. 
• The spouse / partner are, at times, not comfortable with such friendship. They may feel jealous, or overprotective. 
• Parents find it difficult to identify with your status. They may perhaps continue to doubt your connection and may feel that you are hiding the whole story from them. 
• Your friend circle will always tease you and will think that you are together.

Such friendships though not common, however, are not very unusual too. It is not bizarre for a boy and girl to be best friends. 

But how will you be convinced that you have a platonic friendship?

It’s a platonic friendship if:

• You are not envious of their crush or boyfriend/girlfriend. You are okay if they gossip about people of opposite gender in flirting manner.
• You prepare them for dates. As the person of opposite gender, you advise them what to do and what to speak. 
• You are like family to each other and share everything honestly. You talk about every aspect of your life with each other. 
• Your families have a lot of confidence on each other. Be it late nights, or a get-together with friends, having the bestie will always imply- permission granted.
• You never have romantic feelings for each other. You are familiar with your physical boundaries and any pressure from family or friends never lets you cross those. 
• You recognize each other’s frame of mind even on a call. You understand one another more than anybody and know how to act in response.
• You are the best secret keepers of each other. By no means have you distorted the trust. 

Benefits of having a best friend of the opposite gender:

• You identify with the members of opposite gender through your bestie. Your bestie can judge good and bad relationships since they have better understanding of their own gender and guide you in the best way. 
• You value each other more than anyone. You have a unique bro code, a secret language. 
• You get and provide truthful review on each other’s looks etc. you say what needs to be told rather than what needs to be heard. You don’t lie to impress each other.
• You have a lot of dependence on each other and are always seen together. You may pretend to be together in various situations and be safe. 
•  Your date has to pass through your bestie’s assessment and if not approved, they assist you in coming across better ones. 
• You support each other to have healthier bond with spouse/partner. They can guide you through what your partner may be going through in a particular situation and provide a better resolution.
• The besties turn out to be experts in handling mood swings and similar girl stuff, along with an awareness of boys’ interests.

There are many instances available of such a friendship. The famous Harry Potter series illustrates the striking bond of Hermione and Harry. The popular series F.R.I.E.N.D.S. also portrayed friendship of Phoebe and Joey in a platonic manner. 

I would not miss a chance to enlighten about my best friend of the opposite gender. We are together for almost 23 years now. 

For this bond to be trusted, there should be absolute transparency in your feelings. If ever, over a period of time, either of you get attracted in a romantic manner, it must be discussed soon. It is not wrong to have feelings, but keeping to you may possibly make it wrong. Sometimes, what may initiate as platonic may end up in a relationship if feelings are taken care of, depending on the age and the time you have spent with each other. At a younger age, you may have platonic feelings, but as you mature and know more about each other, your outlook may transform. It is always healthier to deal with them and reach a conclusion. The subsequent step shall be decided mutually. We will cover this scenario in upcoming chapter. 

Till then, those who could relate and cherish a similar friendship in their life, hold on to your best friend forever. Let no supposition by community ruin or affect your amazing bond. 

Happy journey!!!