You know like there are times when you are going through a lot ,you feel like telling someone what is going on inside you. If you have that person with whom you can share everything without any hesitation,then Congratulations. But if you have to make a list first to pick the person for sharing your secrets and you end up discarding everyone,because they don't fit the criteria then it's so disappointing. For me, there is no special person around me with whom I can share everything ,presently. It used to be my  best friend years ago, back when we were together in school. Then we got separated, went to a different college. Contacted each other at weekends and then it turned into months. We will meet only at festivals. However we will chat sometimes ..but how much and what a person can share in a chat?? I definitely don't like chatting. I would always make time to listen to the non-stop stories of her parties, college fest,classes,nightouts,bunks,meetings, clubbings,new friends. Time will pass by in her chit-chat. My turn would never come to share my part. Actually even I don't like taking on calls. She would ask formally "so what's up with you?" & I'd simply lie "Yeah nothing new ,just the same." 
This way I made this habit of writing. If no one is there to listen. And I always had a thought running in my mind that I don't want to disturb the other person. Not everyone has an ample amount of time to listen to your nonsense. So better let it be. And don't know when I started hiding my bad thoughts,my ill mental state. My only two friends  would call and tell me about every moment of their life.I have a good memory(touch wood),I will remember every word that they told me about, every piece of news they had,every step they are going to take in their life, for example-She has an exam xyz on day zyx. So,I will wish her all the best on day zyx. And after a few days,I will ask how was the result. If she had an interview,  I will ask how did it go ? Do you like the food in your new PG ? How was your meeting with this new guy ? Did you reach safely ? Because I remember everything. But when it comes to me, they forget everything.  No one remembers I too had a super important exam. I am traveling to another city. I am participating in something xyz. I too have a result pending, How I m dealing with the new environment, how my new friends are,etc,etc. 
They will video call me to show me what they bought for themselves, their friends, family, etc. I bought this, that, I ate this, that, I am going there, I am seeing them, I had this, that.....EVERYTHING ABOUT I, I ,I, I .  But won't bother to ask if I need anything? If am getting bored by their nonsense fashion show? If I have some other works to do? If am sleepy? No one bothers. Still, I don't let them down. I always try to laugh with them. When the call ends, I sit numb, staring at the screen, with no gesture on my face. I take a deep enough breath that probably can make me go deaf. And get busy with my work. Forgetting about everything. Plugging the earphones in, listening to some Bollywood rock music, and vibing with every beat, as if nothing happened !! 

Do Find someone………. So that you don't have to pen down your emotions.