Dear self,

I want to apologize for not giving you what you deserved. I'm sorry I didn't give you the same amount of love back when you were busy giving others every ounce of love left within you. I'm sorry that you gave everything to people that didn't deserve half of you. I'm sorry I didn't take the time to console you when you kept breaking down in tears. I'm sorry I didn't do better to protect you against all the people that lied and betrayed you. I'm sorry you had to go through all these tough obstacles when I could've made better decisions and walked away. But most of all, I'm sorry I didn't love you enough when you needed me most. Many people have called you rude.

I don't understand how you can smile all day long but cry yourself to sleep at night. How the people who once wanted to spend every second of their time with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much to spare.  How people erased you from their lives just because it's easier than working things out. How you let go of something you once said you couldn't live without. I know it hurts you thinking about all these. But the thing that hurt you the most is that I wasn't with you. I didn't support you. 

There are days when you almost give up. Give up because nothing feels right. Even your favorite chocolate tastes bitter and your favorite song feels noisy. You draw the curtain during your favorite time of the day. You zone out during your favorite movie while your mind turns into tornado of thoughts that only mean to self-destruct. And I am not going to lie, there is nothing much to be done on such days. It's okay to have a bad day. Forgive me. Forgive yourself.

Now, I promise you to be with you in every phase of your life, fighting for your worth and making you feel worthy. I promise to give you more than you deserve. I promise to be by your side when the world turn it's back to you. I promise to comfort you in every uncomfortable situation. Just be the way you're, be true and honest to you. Never stop being a good person because of a few instances where you've experienced pain and suffered through it. Some people may have let you down, but it is their loss failing to see your worth. Let yourself feel every situation life puts you in, you were always brave enough to deal with them. YOU ARE WORTH IT.

Remember, I believe you. I love you. I love myself.

Me