Hey dears.. Wishing you all a good day. So this is not a continuation of the previous blog. But I've told you all that I will explain my funny love story. So this is all about it. MY first relationship which dipped intentionally.
I am a girl who has huge expectations about my love life like every other girl. I have pledged to not fall in love in my teenage. Because I thought that love couldn’t get success until reaching a age maturity. Teenage is the age at which we have too many chances to fall into trouble. And I also have my own expectations. My love should be my last love. I don’t want any fake love which will dim after 2 or 3 months. I just want to marry the guy who is my first love.
In 2022, it happened. I fell into my first and fresh love. He is a guy from Palakkad and my best friend also knows about him. Because they are both studying at the same institution. She said that he had a huge crush on me on his first look at me on an online platform. She said that he is a nice and poor guy he would definitely be a perfect match for me. I really believed her words. Because she is my best friend and a motivator. She knows me better than my parents.
By following on her words, I started to talk to him through instagram. He is just like an Indian actor who I personally love. But my first impression was not the best, because he used friendly local words to me in his first talk. I personally don’t like such guys. Because people must give respect to another person, even one who is a complete stranger. But I forgive his mistake. I thought maybe his attitude was like that. And also my best friend mentioned about him and his personality. Naturally, after two weeks, we both fell in love with each other. And in January we shared our love and also informed to my couple of friends. Everyone is just excited because I finally fell in love. But my intention to be in love is that I have reached 22 and it’s the best age to love and I have got enough good maturity to identify what’s wrong and right, and good potential to make my love to a successful one. But all my thoughts are only a light of the way to a dark, deep room.
One day in November, he started to mention more about his new junior girl. I personally hate his friends because all of them have a crush on him, and they were sad when he mentioned me. And I can see happiness in his talk and in his explanation, because he just enjoys such jealousy. But sadly, I don’t. In particular, this junior girl causes havoc in my mind every day. She always likes to be with him. And he said that college had a rumor about their friendship. And he added that she made him so comfortable and happy. That hit hard! I know I am too far from him on the basis of place distance. I can’t make a regular contact with him .we are having distance relationship but I see a pureness in each of our love moments. But the fact he won’t. His love for me decreased each and every day because of the new girl's presence.
The comfortable and happy moments with her hit me so hard, so I asked him did he love her. The answer was completely shocking. He has said that he will try not to love her. Then I just said to him" Oh please don’t sacrifice his love and peace for me". I didn’t tie him anywhere. If he wants to go, sure he can do it. And I cut the conversation and shared this matter with my best friend. But suddenly she gets angry with him and threatens him. And said that don’t hurt me so much, leave me alone if he doesn’t love me. Because she knows the pain in me. And she has a doubt why he didn't make any effort to come and see me. Because no one can live without a sight of his/her love. I too know that, but I relaxed my mind, being by the thought of his busy. I don't want to leave him. I just want to hold him tightly. Because he is my first love relationship.
After the conversation between him and my friend, he completely avoided me.. And one day he told me that he couldn't continue this relationship anymore. He is done with me. Let’s say bye to our love. But we can continue our friendship. I only replied to that conversation with “ah” “mm”. Then I said bye, and i cut the call.
I actually felt love only for two months. After that, he just behaved like I didn’t exist. He gets too busy with his study tasks, not like before. He doesn’t even try to message me for days and find excuses for that. But I used to believe his works were real. I can’t even imagine him cheating on me. So I tried to believe his words. But now things needed to change. I need to let him go. I have just continued this relationship full of pain and ignorance for 10 months, only because I gave him and my love too much importance. But each and every day he is searching for reasons to get me angry and to avoid me.
And I had just started to feel lazy in my studies, and I realised that if I continued this relationship, it would hit me hard in the future. So it is the better decision to let him go with his lovable, In fact, I got screwed and doomed in my love. Just felt failed.
The funny fact is that he never tried to message me, like he said. I mean a friendship continuation.. and but here he expressed his hate through his greater silence, ignorance and mostly he refused the intention of seeing me. So, in short, after two months, all these things are very visible to me. But I am a stupid person who finds hope in each of his excuses.
Finally, he is gone.. He is no longer with me for about two months. Love starts in January and ends in November. Everything gets over. I enjoyed my Christmas alone. Yes, I too, started to live without him with huge pain in the form of our memories in my mind.
