There comes a point in your life when you just want to run away. But you also want to stay to see the inevitable. The tears can't stop streaming down your face and all you think is,
"I'm broken."
You see your broken pieces lying on the floor but you can't do anything. Everything relates back to 'it'.
It destroyed you.
Hacked on and on until nothing was left to put together. Your life becomes an endless cycle of profound actions and a jumble of words. Mumbling and cursing. You want to do something, anything to break the cycle but you watch helplessly as you get sucked in a black void of nothingness. Bitter feeling arise for those you loved, those you cared for. You always remain unhappy as you know that the happiness will be short-lived and you'll return to your black house. Any small thing brings you on the verge of freaking tears, and if you're me, you hate to cry. Food is tasteless and tight smiles are baseless. Civility gets lost and the darkest part of you comes out.
Nothing clears up and you begin to wonder if anyone sees you the way you do. You don't want happiness. You just want peace and a clear mind and an end to your agony. The world spins around you and you wanna scream "STOP!" and freeze time and break away from the fear of losing something you never had. You show that you don't care but a watchful eyes is always kept over.
You loved. You lost.
You ended yourself in the peak of love.
You've broken me.
Several times. Several places.
But I've been able to gather my pieces back together and fit them in their right places.
But I'm afraid. I'm afraid because it is meant to happen and it will.
One day, you'll break me so bad, like a china doll, that I'll not be able to put myself back together and the darkness, I've accumulated over the years, will start spilling.
People around me will be able to see the true face behind my mask.
And that's exactly what I fear.
Because there is no face.
There's just a broken shell of a girl, who ended herself in the peak of love.
Love or no love, let's just keep dreaming
