Yes, we didn't break up as we never started.

I guess it was my fault that I decided that you did everything right, every single time. You were the perfect friend, you cared about me all the time, you spoke to me like it meant something to you, not just something but everything. I found myself very important person in your life. I know I was important, I felt important but may be it was different for you. Something less than what I wanted it to be.

And I realise now that your heart was never mine to begin with. Everything else was mine but not your heart. Not even a single beat coming out of your heart was for me.

And I lost myself as I made up all these scenarios in my head. I took every simple thing you did and read too deeply into it. And maybe there lay my mistake. I should have waited. I must have.

I should have let you tell me your truth, I guess you did that one time, you told me that I was just a friend for me not more than that but then too lover thought it and convinced myself that you meant more.

After all why would someone stay back after class just to have a talk, why would someone call you up randomly just to ask if you were ok or feeling low, why would someone share their deepest secrets and emotions with you, why would someone ask you to meet them just the two of us most of the time, then accidentally touch your hand, and still tell you that you were just a friend. Still?

May be because that's what they wanted it to be, or may be that's just who they are, But I am unaware of.

But it is hard when someone gives you mixed signals, it is hard when you want them but they just cannot figure out how they feel. And then one day they tell you that they had felt something for you all along. They tell you that they want to come back. That they want to make it work.

But by then your heart just does not have the space anymore. You just can't. Because even though you lived through it, however you have lived.. you never broke up, because you never really started. Yes, that's the actual truth.