I don't know how but due to some reasons all of my blogs just disappeared from my account. Just gone! Like that! I blinked and they were vanished! And as obvious, technology having its own pros and cons, I don't even have any backup of any of blog! Me and my clumsiness have infinite embarassing stories which I will share some other time. Nevertheless trying to recollect and put into words what I had written.

This was typically my second blog which was right before my birthday in May. I was about to turn 21 and being an introvert, the thoughts of (officially) being an adult and behaving responsibly slaped me hard in the face and so here I am!

Basically I am an introvert and we introverts tend to overthink and overanalyse every possible and also every impossible situation. Being a child I always used to fantasize being an adult and people depending on me and all the attention I would be getting and doing everything on my own. I used to dream about living in some other city while studying and doing all the chores by myself and going  out with friends etc.

“With great power, comes great responsibility”

As I grew up, I now understand how stupid and immature we were back then. The 8/9 year old me who desperately wanted to grow up did not know that growing up does not mean maturing. That introverts like me have to fight numerous battles everyday. Starting from family, friends, ourself. Out of all the battles, the battle most difficult and tiring is the one which we fight with OURSELF! After hours of thinking and arguing and analysing, we are still left without any answer or logical reason and yet drains out mentally. Adulting does not guarantee you Maturing. It only ensures having responsibilities, feeling tired, owning up to responsibilities and self control.

You know what, I am turning 21 in a few minutes and if by any chance God or anyone asks me what I would wish for as gift or boon? I have my answer ready; very clear. I don't wanna grow up. I don't wanna live independently or travel alone or fulfill my dreams and fantasies. I DO NOT WISH TO ADULT. I DO NOT WISH TO SEE MY PARENTS GETTING OLD. I DO NOT WISH TO SEE FRIENDS PLAYING MIND GAMES. All I want is for my mom to feed me food with her hands, dad to scold me for me mischieves, to play in the ground with my friends all day and watch cartoons on the TV. But do you wanna know what I really want more than any of that? I want to sleep on mom's lap, have dad take me in his arms and sleep cuddling both of them.

All I really want is to have genuine smile and happiness.

All I really wish if for love as pure as my mom and dad!

Anyway, this is just my wish but they are just dreams for a reason. Coming back to reality I know I have a place just like my home now where I can share my thoughts and feel really good!

Let me know in the comments section if you feel the same way about adulting every year on your birthday or are you normal?;)

<3