Hello there! Hope you all are doing good. I'm back with the second part of the blog. Today's blog is sorta autobiography😁😁😁 It's already gonna be very long so just lets get started… 

Introverts - “Ugh they are so boring!” “Conservative!” “Always showing attitude!” “Every time a in serious mode.” “They don't know how to enjoy life.” And blah blah blah… Isn't it what the world think about us? Yes, I'm also an introvert. A 100% pure breed😅😅😅 I told you in the last blog how a person becomes an introvert. The same things happened with me and they are still happening. They'll never change unless until the origin of those rules and regulations change their minds. 

Since the childhood I'm told to focus on my studies only. I was supposed to score 100/100. Always! I was told not to make friendship with boys at all and with girls who were kind you can call mischievous and not good at studies. As a kid I accepted that everything told by them was correct, it was for my good. And hence I never rebelled also. But eventually it took a toll on me.

I put all my efforts into studies. I used to think myself superior to others as I was the topper of the class. I had attitude issues. I did exactly what they expected me to do. I kept myself away from so called “bad influencers”. And it continued till 8th grade until I met a group of girls. Yeah they were kind of daring and dashing. I'm not judging anybody here but yes I started going out of my comfort zone. I didn't care what my parents will think. I was happy when I was with them. I wanted to make such more friends. But my classmates, they already had a different image of mine in their heads. Again I was taken aback because of the fear of judgement. And I lost many persons to this. 

I went out of state for further education. And IT WAS A WHOLE NEW WORLD! There were no boundaries of intelligence, discipline, caste or religion. It took me a year to unlearn what I was taught. Of course I didn't forget whatever good they taught me. 

Now a different version of me emerged from that world. I was more tolerant. I didn't keep any criteria for making new friends. I no longer had the attitude, no hard feelings for anybody. I changed a lot since then. But you know what I just can't stop being reserved. I've lived this way since my childhood and it no longer is a lifestyle to change. It's my personality. I've undone whatever was bad in me but once you get attached to that loneliness you just can't get rid of it. It is my heart, my mind. My Peace!

The only difference between the old me and the new me is that before I never used to care about others be it either their opinions or feelings but now I do and I guess that is the most important one. My behavior towards others has changed but still I can't initiate the talk. Those serious looks on the face, they'll never go and hence lot of people misunderstand.

To be frank I no more care also about their judgements. If someone wants to be a friend of mine, you're welcome. But just because I don't take the lead do not make me aggressive. I can be friendly with anybody but not close to everybody and those who are dearest to me they mean everything to me. They know that very well and I'm satisfied with that too.

This is kind of a confession for whatever mistakes I've done. This is an apology to everyone(anyone among my batchmates if reading this) whom I've hurt in the past just because of my reckless ego. This is an assurance that you'll never see that part of me again!

God! There is still so much to say. But I'm running out of words. Sorry for so long blog but I'll make sure that it'll be worth of your time investment. See you soon with a new part. It still hasn't ended.

Stay safe, stay happy!!!

#SM🤞🏼

You can follow me on INSTAGRAM too👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼 @selfmusinginlove !