Sometimes she wondered if it was all her fault; she was to be blamed for everything that ever happened to her. It was not surprising to hear, “Stop blaming yourself for things that's not under your control Rose.” Yeah, she was an empath, alas that's what she thought.

Over the last 25 years of her life, she has gained many friends but the number of people who left her outnumbered the ones who stayed. Maybe it was always her after all. Her sensitivity and easily attached, clingy behaviour might have scared them off. How many times has she told herself not to get attached to people, but she couldn't stop herself from getting attached. She loved making conversations, yet she was quiet. She didn't know what should be talked about and what shouldn't be. 

Her face always looked so pale and unapproachable maybe that's why people didn't consider her as a friendly person. She was easy going yet reserved. She was happy in her space yet sad. She couldn't categorise herself as an introvert or an extrovert. So, she categorised herself as an Ambivert. God knows what category she belongs to.

Her moods swung like they never ever were consistent at all. You see her happy one minute, the other minute her face might reflect annoyance or anger. She couldn't control her emotions so people avoided being her friend. She was easily offended by jokes, so people didn't joke around her. She had one guy whom she loved a lot who cheated on her. She didn't know where it all went wrong. 

Like how I began this, maybe it was all her. Maybe the way she blamed herself was all right. She might be right about herself. She is a bad person who is insensitive about other people's feelings. Maybe she is a hypocrite who joked about other people's feelings and felt deeply about her own emotions. Maybe she is just a person who is faking all this stuff because she doesn't know who she is. Maybe she is a mystery to herself, trying to solve the case of finding herself. Maybe she is a girl, who doesn't want to exist in this world, 'cause she is tired, exhausted and fed up with this world.

Maybe she is just judged and she believes what other people have to say about her. Maybe she is the ghost of my past who wants to know the answer to the questions that haunting me now.