I don't know honestly, what to expect from my life anymore!
It's just like I am walking alone everyday, along the same path, clueless and aimless of where I am destined to be.
A fine line between dying and pulling myself back to live, a little longer…
But once I perceive, I am losing my grip, I will fall, right on my face, beneath the eroded soil of life and death.
Pain is the root holding us all together, whether we die in pain or with age!
Where time ends and we are free, free to a life we won't live…
Flying higher in oblivion, dumbstrucked while stargazing infinity until we are gone, scattered into particles knowing there's no new beginning to this end anymore!
But that's way better than our idle lives. Hustling and wandering around, thinking this is the only truth. The only purpose of our existence on Earth.
Sometimes I wonder, what made evolution of life so unique! We are all travelling through our unknown selves and known beliefs, a sigh of relief that we've been able to know a pinch of wonders around the universe. From an endless beginning to an endless infinity, expanding while we're sniffing or blinking our eyes in awe!
Often these maze runners seems astounding to me. The more I know, the more I fear a frozen death of my mind and soul. A lie I am living in… a truth so bewildering that believing a lie feels safe!
But to those, crushing and screaming on necessitous lives, thinking there's contentment in living a life so rich and powerful, hope they know what believing a circle of hoax means.
To me, life is impracticable, and lonely. As you grow up, you understand yourself more and you realise no one in this entire world would ever truly know, who you truly are, not that they would want to! And that's the worst feeling ever. This is a one way world. It will take everything you are capable of giving them and in return whatever you get comes with a price! But that's life, that's how everyone is surviving precisely. Though the amusing part here is that, there are millions of Givers just like you and that's beautiful yet so sorrowful to think about.
But acknowledging isn't enough for me! The more I think about everyone and everything so deeply, the more I lose myself and my sanity. I can't help but dreaming more and entangling myself to the cave of death until I hold my chaos lately. I know I have to keep myself awake until I fall asleep, deeper into oblivion!
Wish I could write more but my feelings are inexpressible and I am literally numb right now. It's like I am feeling a lot more than I can ever say. Can't really articulate, rather hoping I can, once again, make my scars look beautiful than I could have ever been.
Thanks for reading
