IS THIS LIFE?  WHY MY LIFE IS MESSED UP??  WHY CAN''T I BE HAPPY?? these are the questions that I often thinks off. Yes some people also thinks about it.

People says “Hard work pays off" is that true? Do you believe?

There was a time once I believed that “hard work pays off" until I didn't get paid off for my work. I've always dreamed to become a doctor and I've always worked for it since my childhood. I put up all my efforts, time, hard work to achieve my goal. I even studied for 10 hours a day hoping that I'll achieve my dream one day. Is that a wrong thing to do as a middle class family girl? Aren't we supposed to have dreams? Yup!! This is how I felt after getting my results. Just think off you worked hard for years to achieve your dream but you are in the middle of the sea to achieve your dream. How do you feel now?  

As many of the people are aware about the NEET exam I would like to share this, my NEET score is 450 but the cutoff score is 485. Still I can achieve my dream but only if I have enough money to get into a private medical college. As I have mentioned earlier, I'm from a middle class family and I don't have enough money to get into a private college. That's the point where I felt that “money is everything”. People says money can't buy happiness but think of the situation like mine. That's where I realized “Money can also buy happiness”.  Seeing my rich friends who scored less marks than me getting into medical college broke me deep. Money, money, money. Being a middle classer we must learn to say “let it go” even though you are totally longing for it and you deeply want it, that's what my parents told me at that point. 

My dream was my first relationship. How do you feel when your first relationship fails? You cry, you blame yourself, you act like you are fine when you are totally dead inside, yup that's how I felt. I thought “I should have born dumb" , at least my parents shouldn't have had fake hopes on me. Thinking about this made me more sad. But life has to go on right?  So I made up my mind to move on.

But there comes the life changing point. Which field to choose? dental, ayurveda, siddha or engineering? What will you do if you are in my situation? Drop your opinions in comments. I'll share the continuation of my life story in the next blog.