J. M Lawrence quoted, “It's not what we have in life, but who we have in life that matters”. This in fact, is so true that I realised when I was juggling we difficult times in my family. 2019 the year which taught me the best lessons to live life positively.
To quickly brief about the incidents, my late aunt(younger attya, age 58) who became widow at the age of 34. Later in life, unfortunately was left alone in her family as all others met with a tragic death. She has been my inspiration to stand on my own feet and live life independently.
On 24th November 2019, I had to rush to Kolhapur with my native family as an unexpected medical emergency occured with aunt. Her situation was so worse that I had to stay there leaving back my four year old son in Belgaum with my husband and in-law's. I must say I am blessed to be married into such a caring and supportive family who made my son so comfortable in my absence for a month. Once over a call my son consoled me saying," Mommy, don't worry about me, you take care of Bhanu maa (my aunt). I was stunned with his delighted words. I felt glad looking at his patience and maturity. My father-in-law constantly enquired about aunt's condition on every call he made. He always comforted me and asked me not to worry about things at home and to stay with aunt and take care of her. His words gave me the strength to handle my family in Kolhapur. Unfortunately, in December my aunt lost the battle with her illness and left abode.
By the time I could cope up with the loss of my beloved aunt, my father-in-law was admitted for a sever cardiac arrest which took a long treatment for him at hospital. After all hopes and extensive medical treatment we lost him in February 2020. Another gem of a person I ever met. A person who believed in my ideas and projects we discussed, he motivated to step ahead in life fearlessly. A kind and soft spoken mentor of our family. I really felt unfortunate to have spent less time with him.
In this same phase my own father was operated for an open heart surgery for a complicated artery block. Thankfully, he recovered quickly and has been doing well now.
Over this whole tragic phase, I learnt and observed how a family is bonded in tough times building up the hope and courage to face challenges and difficult times in life. We never know what we may face in life. All we can do is stand strong and be patient. My marital family is close knitted family. Knowing the critical situation of my father-in-law,everyone rushed home with the concern of support as ‘Papa’ was dear to all. Though I felt relieved at everyone's arrival, somewhere at the back of my mind I was panicked and nervous too. I felt I was too young to manage all the responsibilities towards senior most members at home and most importantly to take care of Papa with his hospital routine. Thus, I then slowly started realising one thing that a human is designed to play multiple roles. My roles were, a role with my mother-in-law to console her in this difficult time in life, a role with my husband to console him about his father and raise strength, a role with my son to fulfil his parenting needs as well as the house chores. My father-in-law's treatment went on for one and half month,keeping a hope every single day to soon bringing him back home fit and fine. This became an everyday's challenge.But, at the end of the day my cousin mother-in-laws, co-sisters, sister-in-laws, brother-in-laws, staff at home, every single person comforted me with positive words to bare the situation. A hug, small gestures of love, care, a laugh to change the mood, even giving me the space to rest. A cup of hot tea in the morning and so many moments living with them touched my heart.
I feel fortunate to be born in a family who raised me with the good values of life and got me married into the best family I ever wished. I can proudly say that my upbringing has given me a respectable place in the family. Every mother has a duty to pass on her values to their children to make their life happy by being close and attached in extended families. I am not boasting myself but would like to add that I could feel a super power in me with all the support my family gave in this traumatic situation. You can handle family situation patiently only when you accept it and be strong with the family thinking they are my own and my own family for whom I have to be there every way. There's no happiness greater than the happiness of time spent with the family.
Just like the saying -" It's not how big the house is, it's how happy the home is."
My perception about life has completely changed over the past years.
