Our romantic relationship is our safe and happy space. Place where we can be ourselves without being judged. This can be a long term committed relation, romantic association, marriage, love affair, livin' relationship….

Whatever you may call it but it is an association based on trust, faith and love ..

But at times even most committed relationships change due to changing situation, circumstances or attitudes.

When two totally different people live together and share their personal space there are bound to be issues which if neglected can leave both partners unhappy. 

This dissatisfaction creats communication gap and that is when red flags in any relationship start emerging.

According to dating psychologist Madeleine Mason Roantree, a red flag can be defined as:

 “something your partner does that indicates a lack of respect, integrity or interest towards the relationship”

Let us look at these red flags…

When in a relationship focus shifts from solving the actual problem to blame game and finding faults leading to criticism is the first red flag you should be aware of.

When critisism starts the main focus is on being offensive and attacking other person's personality.

Words like ‘you never’ or ‘you always’', become very common in use and we do not give our partner the benifit of doubt.

In any relationship when contempt sets in from critisism it is a big Red Flag…because contempt breaks the trust and faith in the relationship.

In this scene name calling,insults  and making personal attack on behaviour becomes very common.

Being emotionally guarded or defensive all the time is a red because you feel you are constantly being attacked or criticized and you have to be on your guards and at times in this situation we adopt the strategy of ‘offense is the best defence’'.

This adds to the toxicity of relationship and pushes partners away from eachother into their own closed space.

Over a period of time contempt, criticism and defensiveness leads to loss of communication and stonewalling. This is a sign that relationship is on the verge of breakup if you ignore this red flag then you are in toxic relationship and in denial 

As they say what we do not repair we repeat. So we turn our circumstances into a vicious cycle. This has adverse effect on our self esteem, confidence and personality 

It is better to identify these red flags and seek help to repair our relationship.

Like every aspect in our life our relationship also needs effort, we have to be honest and open about it, rather than romanticize it…

Focus on building a meaningful connections and work on these red flags if you feel it is to much for you to work alone reach out for help.