Two very positive yet in sync aspect of life are how to accept things and change, to understand acceptance and change we need to break the misguided belief that.

If we accept things we refuse to change…

If you focus too much on changing your emotion, thoughts and situation you can have a personality crisis and if you accept blindly you can be come too complaint. for meaningful life and to have positive change we need to create a balance.

Balance between good and bad, right and wrong, positive and negative, this balance between opposite forces creates foundation for acceptance and change. By creating this balance we acknowledge the reality of the situation but also agree upon the willingness to do something about it..

It is like standing on the balance board you will struggle and shift to create the balance but once you achieve it- that is when change happens you now work towards maintaining balance batter will be your balance .

Acceptance and change are powerful tools and to find your balance between them can help you transform your life.

To know what to accept and what to change we need to shift our perspective from Acceptance OR Change to Acceptance & Change.

In this shift we first accept in order to create change. We accept our thoughts , feelings, and situations as they are then we learn new coping skills to manage our situation and bring change in our thinking, emotions and situation.

For example:

From acceptance or change:

 I hate I'm so depressed there is something wrong with me, I need to fix myself.

To acceptance & change:

My feeling of depression are part of me right now ,I'm frustrated that I feel this way ,but I know I can learn skills to manage it.

Its easy to accept what we need to and understand what best can be changed.

Carl Rogers has said

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am then I can change.”

By accepting we let go of the pain , bitterness, and focus on making proactive, positive plan for the change we desire.

We need to understand that our thoughts are at times are biggest barrier in this process as we feel comfortable holding on to the past as future is unclear.

This fear stops from taking that first step towards acceptance and change. because as they say it is easy to forgive which is part of acceptance but difficult to forget which is stopping the change. once we create balance between this we can accept and change.

So next time if you are in the dilemma remember this prayer by American Theologist Reinhold Niebuhr…

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change ,

courage to change the things I can and

wisdom to know the difference…."