As a counsellor I have always been asked by the parents that the child does not listen and does what is not to be done.

Question is:

why this disobedience ?

Answer is right in front of you ; all you need to do is look at it and try to understand it.

Most of us adopt parenting style of our parents, follow what our friends do and share ,as more aware parents what we read. But the truth is this is a trial and error method, which does not work.

To make your child listen and understand to what you have to say is to listen to them and understand the child's view.

Many parents sarcastically comment or laugh …

child's View, now what is that? no body ever asked us when we were growing up…all I say is so do you think our generation has a clue of what a world view is…laughingly.

Child's view is their perspective, thoughts and sphere of thinking…in short their world.

Yes once you enter into their world you will know what they want and how to talk to them to make then understand and know your world.

Most of us as parents are aware of these things…all we need to do is improvise.

So let's start talking to our children so that they listen…

Always remember the trick is to keep things as simple as you can and be brief there is no need to ramble and talk too much to confuse the child.

As far as possible use simple and short sentences, easy words so that child can remember and follow what you are trying to say.

Observe how kids communicate between themselves and you will automatically see the loopholes and  where you are missing the things.

It is important to connect with the child so that they understand what you are saying, best way to do that is to make eye contact with the child, address the child directly and create an open path by the way of your body language.

I have seen parents often very perplexed about what is open communication? how do we create it? do we listen and agree to everything they say?

Well open communication means giving your child authority to speak their mind and not be held for what they say. That does not mean they can say anything ….this means give them opportunity to learn responsible communication.

To make this effective you need to create emotional equilibrium so that your child is on the same space. for example: Let the child know it's ok to be upset and disturbed but what is important is how they express it.

You need to be patient let your child complete their thought because if at this time you become the adult you are creating the barrier and as a result you need to deal with the tantrums…because child will ultimately say what they have to and want to…you need to decide as an adult how do you want it.

Little bit of listening ,little bit of care and lots of understanding will help you know your child better and how to communicate with them.

Well there is no written rule book for parenting …it's ok to be wrong and accept it …this teaches the child to be real as ultimately they need to know  and learn how to survive in the real world.

So start listening and happy parenting…