We all want to be positive build positive connections, look at positive self and learn to have positive attitude. But do we realize this can be harmful, self destructive and toxic.

Yes ! positivity can be toxic and self sabotaging…

let us understand the concept of toxic positivity. “Toxic Positivity” is the belief that no matter how difficult a situation is one should be and  maintain positive mindset.

This approach focuses on “good vibes only”….obsession with positive thinking.

while there are benefits of optimism and positivity but when it is the only option or compulsion it can be a false charade and a façade which rejects difficult emotions in favor of pretense of forced cheerfulness.

Toxic positivity urges and forces a person to look at positive aspect after a devastating loss or trauma neglecting the grief or justifying the loss. example of this can be :

“telling a parent who has lost their child to be happy and assert that they can have children still and justifying by saying everything happens for  a reason”

Why is toxic positivity harmful?

toxic positivity can actually harm people going through difficult times by trivializing the experience, silencing the negative emotions,  demean grief and force them to be happy and add pressure to normalize things when they are struggling through trauma or grief.

It pressurizes them, as a result rather than sharing genuine human emotions and have unconditional support and regard people find their feelings being dismissed, ignored and invalidated.

We need to remember that toxic positivity can also be self imposed in an attempt to heal pain and trauma. This can be due to internalization of social conditioning, where being positive is only solution to problem.

Toxic positivity can also be due faulty belief that one must stay positive come what may along with fear of being judged or stigmatized.

Toxic positivity can lead to ignoring or neglect of underlying problem. it can result in low self esteem, negative thoughts, isolation, personal neglect.

How to overcome toxic positivity….

We need to normalize experience of negative emotions and accept our emotions as they are. We don't have to deny them rather experience them in totality and be realistic about what we feel.

we need to understand that its ok to feel more than one emotion. we do not have to avoid, ignore or block our emotions.

everyone is entitled to their own feelings, even if they are different. Do not invalidate others feelings show support and validate their experience.

it may sound cliched but its ok to not be ok, be realistic and do not dismiss other genuine emotions, over  forced positivity.

Next time if you are experiencing difficult situation do not force positivity on your self rather be open to the experience and let genuine emotions surface.