(Chapter 1)

Just wanted to vent out the ongoing thoughts from my head. I don't know in much detail what have actually happened with me in the past 24 years.

It's giving me a feel like I was trying to escape the reality or the situation I was in though I hardly knew about the situation I was in. There was some sort of a constant confused feeling in my heart twirling all the time causing an effect to make me realise something that had actually never been faced by me. 

I was missing something or "someone", I didn't know correctly what or whom. But these cliche thoughts were trying to clinch around my nerves and I couldn't resist them as I was unable to find any method for doing so. I have tried some methods to free myself from such strange thoughts by drowning myself into deep exotic fictional thoughts consisting of non-existent situations though satisfying ones which could make anyone to stop themselves from doing their regular important works and engulf their minds to get hooked into such thoughts.

While I was busy making excuses and planning for a better escape strategy, another thought erode, like a small thin pin could burst a large balloon just after a small contact, that thought from nowhere did so to me, destroyed my fictional peace and tossed me to the reality then to my body on the floor from the faded wine-red coloured, badly scratched couch to make a move and quick start from where I had left my work which could be the only possible way to safeguard myself from becoming the one I feared the most. I stood up after that, went to make a fresh start, pushing my whole body and drinking a freshly prepared coffee having bitter taste while taking the first sip and sweet at the second after adding 2-3 spoons of sugar. 

"Sometimes your favourite work can even make you feel depressed which once used to be your source of refreshment."

 I am an artist by profession now not by passion as I used to say until I got to face the real world outside those colourful canvas. I used to imagine the world similar in my paintings, colourful, cheerful and optimistic till my drawings got turned into charcoal arts and my only favourite colour left was black. 

Around 23 years ago my wife gave divorce to me taking my only hope, my daughter far away from me for my betterment though I am still trying to figure it out how?! I guess the only reason why she did that could be my broken condition, not a single penny was left to handover my little princess to get a taste of her favourite candy while giving my farewell for forever to her.I don't recall that situation appropriately why did that happen to me or even what actually made that happen, one time I was living perfectly with my family enjoying and nourishing each moment with them and the very next was looking the back sides of them after breaking all the bonds and seeing their discomforting behaviour of not looking back to me even a single time, but one thing which I clearly knew at the time was, "when misfortune hits you hard then your loved ones can't even help you from escaping it and you will see your end with it while preparing for the execution of your perfect escape plan!"

P.s : Perhaps....!

To be continue.....

Note: I was trying to create a story and this was the start though while writing I didn't know which way it was going. I guess I will write more to it soon but don't know exactly when.

~ Newly Risen Sun