We always think it will never happen to us, it can never happen to us until it happens. When you are born and brought up in a certain kind of privileged environment you have a sense of protection; protection from the evil that resides in our society. As a young girl, I have always looked at figures, figures that report day-to-day rape cases, sexual abuse, human trafficking etcetera, and felt disgusted, disappointment crawling up to my stomach but then I would have forgotten all of it and move on, like everybody else. As cliché as it sounds, you cannot relate to the pain of those who have suffered until you’re the one suffering.

The scene rests as vivid and as clear in my mind as if it had just happened yesterday. Maybe it did happen yesterday, the same story repeated, only the victim changed. I remember, it was my birthday, I had to travel somewhere but my mom couldn't make it so she asked me if I could travel with my uncle and I agreed. We were traveling by car and on the journey, he tried to touch me inappropriately and made me touch him. I was taken aback; it took me a while to process what had just happened. It was just the two of us in the car and I had no option other than to travel with him until we had reached the destination.  After we reached the place, we got into his apartment and I was a fool to think he wouldn’t try to make a move again. He molested me, he wanted to come close and kiss me so he made me stand against a wall where he put both his hands around me so that I could not escape. In desperate attempts, I hit him on his stomach and ran away. As I recall it, I feel the same terror running down my spine. I took my time about telling this incident to anyone, you still fear people might not believe you but eventually I did. My brother was so furious that he tried to confront my uncle about the matter, but my aunt didn’t believe it. And it got swept under the carpet. I wasn’t myself for months, I couldn’t bear to touch my body or even look at it. I was disturbed to such an extent that I would feel uncomfortable when even my own mother would touch me.

To have been going through all of it and in the end, your suffering gets invalidated, it is hard to tell what is worse. I have had nightmares and the anxiety issues continue to prevail but time has made me strong enough to handle it. I wouldn’t wish this to happen even upon my worst enemy. I would still like to believe there is

kindness and goodness left in the world.