Having such hard times these days. My 2 years old is teething and she cries every night clinging on to me in pain. As a mother comforting her is my top most priority. My sleep has been thrown out of the room.. I was surviving on 4 hours daily but these days I have hit a new low of 2.5 hours. Being a single parent means you have to manage days and nights both alone. Today I am literally swaying and things are falling from my hands but I can't catch up on sleep.. during the day she is atleast a little happy so wo bhi chalega.

I wonder how I was as a kid and if my mom struggled as much as I do. I am sure dad must have helped plus maids were there. The corona has taken away the little help I used to get from my maids. It is crazy. And guess what we have just recovered from covid 19.. 

Inspite of the physical tiredness I feel proud of this struggle don't know why. I feel blessed to be able to hold my kids and be around them. This too shall pass I know and how quickly it does. My 7 year old is a kicking example. One day at a time is all I need to focus on. 

Having kids is a huge responsibility and I remind myself everyday to keep calm and keep loving. I want to be their best friend and the first person to fall back on. I have vowed to never be judgemental of their choices and thoughts. For this I need to work on it everyday. I need to make them feel safe and respected every single day. I need to work more on my patience, sleep or no sleep I am their go to person after all. I just pray that this huge lack of sleep doesn't make me unwell. 

I hope tonight is better. I hope tonight we get through smoothly and even if we don't I pray that I stay calm and composed. The cries crush my soul and I truly dread them. I hope my baby gets some relief asap and we see better days and nights.

While I am writing this she is stuck to me.. on my lap and feeding. It makes my life worth living. This closeness is priceless but like all the other things.. this too shall pass..