Do you feel you got numb over time? where once you felt so much now you feel nothing? like nothing at all!

imagine yourself in a situation where you know you are not wrong yet everyone around you concludes that you are wrong without actually knowing your side of the story how does that make you feel? I feel that every day I feel this is a replay mode in my life where everyday people around me wake up with a motive that how to make me feel worthless and so wrong every day. and somewhere in your heart you just start believing them and then the self-criticism starts where all you do is find ways to hate yourself more each sec. so, when someone out there tries to get close to you you just push them far away, when someone points out how stubborn you are over something you get scared that even they are seeing all those flaws in you, so you really are flaw full.  No matter how much they try you are surrounded by those steel walls cause of the hatred all these years you forget how to be loved or cared for. You just keep on believing you ain't good enough, cause all you ever wanted to be just enough for at least one person out there. when sometimes all you need someone to say you ain't wrong I understand how you feel and why you feel that way. Lately when someone tells me that I should behave this way or should feel that way I really really think that am I really that much wrong that I don't even know how to feel sometimes? I really stopped expecting things long ago, I stopped wishing long ago but lately, I have been doing that a lot I know I shouldn't but for once in years I really want someone to be there for me, I am tired of being alone now, I just feel I'll be happier around them, but there is this voice do I really know them?  how can I let someone this close to me without knowing them? but my heart is so confident about them that they won't hurt me (intentionally ) cause trust me I am one of those people who get hurts even if you will forget to say me take care (get my point?) I am taking a huge leap of faith in them, risking my heart again in hope that this time I won't be wrong, the person I believe won't let me down. I am not wrong, right? we all have to take that leap of faith once in life right? WEll, I am really hoping for good things now.