As the title suggests, the phrase has got nothing to do with the Dark Knight Movie which I was planning to watch today since I started the Dark Knight Trilogy but maybe after writing this, I will watch. 

This is one line I get asked a lot; maybe not always but assumed a lot by people when they first see me or spend time with me. I am perceived as a grumpy and serious person who doesn't look seem cheerful at all. That is probably because they haven't seen me being cheerful or smiling. Not my problem. And if they think that I am too serious, it is because they don't know me too well or anything about my headspace. Their perceptions might change if they spend a little longer with me. 

Now am I a serious person? Well maybe, it is subjective. It also depends on the surrounding I am present in and also the people. One can't be jovial in every surrounding and can't be vibrant until the demand of being vibrant. There used to be a time I smile at everyone but most of the time, I get a cold response which bothered me. Be it from colleges, shops, or even from family, I have felt bad if the feelings or the gesture isn't reciprocated and so I don't do much as I used to. It is somewhere between smiling and not smiling; like a half-smile, because you never know if they are gesturing at you or someone behind. You don't want to look like a fool. 

If I was serious, that is because of the headspace I am in, I get restless being in a surrounding filled with people, the same place I wanted to relax. It is like intruding into space. Same with spending time with a friend and when someone intrudes into the space, it bugs me and I can't smile for the sake of smiling. That is another thing about me. Don't express for the sake of expressing. 

There has always been pressure to smile at guests at a party or people we know when we see them somewhere outside college or work. Earlier it used to like talking for a while but now, it seems like they don't want to talk and walk off after a slight acknowledgment. I have been in that pressure or space of acknowledging people known to me while in a public people but get ignored in return. 

Now with the pandemic and the need of wearing masks, there is no such worry. You can look at a person straight and not make a reaction because of the mask you are wearing as it controls your expression when put on. Having said that, a smile doesn't hurt that bad and I do smile at times even at strangers and babies even if I don't get anything in return. Earlier I used to worry about not getting acknowledged or reciprocated, now it doesn't matter. The most smile I use is the awkward one; the one I use when I don't know what to say and smile awkwardly as a response. I never do plastic smiles at functions and parties. 

I do make an effort to smile but sometimes I find it difficult especially when it comes to photographs or selfies. You can't keep a stone face while taking a picture right? That's why in most of my photos (solo ones) I don't smile. Well, you don't have to smile in every photograph. So what I do is smile but not smile, i.e., a half-smile. 

Anyways, that's all for now, will talk more about expressing yourself in a different blog. Share your smile as it has the power to change someone's day. Thank you so much for reading. I will see you at the next one.