It's been two and a half weeks since I bid adieu to the place I worked for nine months. I didn't want to but I had to, hoping to do something but it turned out to be something else and circumstances changed, likewise. I would still prefer working on the side even if I set out to work for my ambitions. 

I was feeling restless three days after I had quit. A lot of time, a lot to do, but having a job served a purpose to an extent and you were earning something as well, and that has stopped. You go to different stores of the place you used to work and now you don't have the privilege anymore and have to pay the full price for what you purchase. Or, you can just stop visiting frequently. 

What do I miss about working? Is it work in general or the privilege you can't use anymore? I miss going to work and returning from work where to and fro I get to come across people. Seeing people apart from the ones in the house is what made me sane. Then at workplace, you see people again and interact with them. I miss that. Sure you will have good and bad days but then if you are at the right place and the right place, you will learn a lot. You will still learn likewise and you are meant to undergo those experiences, good and bad to see what you want and don't want. 

What I thought to be the badge of honour that I carried for almost a year has been stripped of me. Or should I say, I gave it away for a reason which didn't happen, unfortunately. Now it is back to square one which I truly hate. Being my old self is my worst year. I want to grow. I don't want to be the person I was a year ago, in the sense there should be an upgrade at every stage of life. I don't want to be that. I hate my old self. No one likes their previous self, or do they? I would rather stand for a little while if I had to wait a little longer to step forward but I certainly don't want to step back as I have been there for way too long.

Nevertheless, I can still apply and get back but I am waiting for something that I really hope gets sorted and a part of me is freaked out and worried and the other part is calmed. Even if I am jobless at the moment, I have a lot on my plate and a lot to do and there is not enough time so whatever I intend to do, I act fast, and by then, things will be sorted. Hopefully!