It is the mid of November; the month that is supposed to be… what exactly? Whatever it is, I don't like the way that it is going. Last November was the worst because there was fear of a deadline and this November, nothing really is happening. Maybe that is the reason.

Why is it so gloomy? Is November supposed to be gloomy? Has it got to do with the weather? If so, it is getting really cold. But then, you can drink lots of coffee and hot chocolate. You can't stay home always as it will make you lose your mind and stepping out is always cold. I tried going out once to ease my mind but truth be told, it wasn't helpful at all. Not one bit. And going at work doesn't take my mind off. It's not that I hate it, but sometimes I feel like… I am fed up. Which were the exact words of my shift leader during my last week's shift. 

I was told that I look like I am fed up. I agree. But it was only for that day and just the day in general, and then in the later shifts it was fine. It is hard to get motivated and work accordingly, considering the fact that you have a deadline around this time and pushing yourself is hard.

You want to get wrapped around the blankets on a cold morning but you have work to do and you kill the time if you lay there. Sure, rest is important but these are the times where you need to push yourself hard. Usually, I don't mind the gloom because I have been there a long time ago and still there. Sitting alone in a coffee shop in the midst of strangers lost in thoughts is something I kind of like. I don't alienate myself just to be by myself because I can do that even when I am out. Well, that's what most of the people are.

There were some progress in the last days and at the same time, there are some things that need to be done. And I am wondering how to keep it going. How to get it going? And will I make it? Let's stick to the third question. Will I make it? Absolutely, I will. And I just need to push myself harder and work a bit hard. You've been hearing this a lot from my previous posts, innit? Likewise, there has been some sort of progress always. But sometimes, it lacks discipline and consistency.

 For instance, writing blogs is not consistent enough and I may have gone weeks without writing a single one. It is hard to accomodate all at once. I have a book to finish reading, a story to finish writing, a movie to finish watching, a series to start, an application to fill and all that and so on. I am so packed that I don't get time for other distractions, which is good because that shouldn't be prioritised at all. not one bit. 

I will be back with more blogs and thoughts hopefully. If you could excuse me, I have got to go now. Thank you so much for reading. I will see you in the next one.