Long time no see. Busy sorting out life, eh? Well, that's how it has been. I am not losing my mind. But I want to have some relaxation, calm and quiet moments. Am I making sense? It doesn't matter. 

It is almost the end of the year and in two days, it is Christmas. Isn't it supposed to be exciting? Yes, it is. But is it actually exciting? No. Not at all. I was asked by my shift leader if I am in the Christmas spirit. Truth is, no, I am not. I am not feeling the Christmas vibes and that's alright. I think. Something should make me feel better but nothing does. I wish I was somewhere better. I have exceeded the welcome; way long. There isn't a proper progress I would say. And there is absolutely no excuse in it and there is absolutely no point in cribbing about it because that won't bring back the time and you will be gone. 

I wasn't freaking out like last year but this year also requires a freak-out and I am undergoing a burn-out. I will be burnt to a crisp if I don't get it done. The problem is the lack of consistency at times and the discipline of the same. Because, one day there will be passion and dedication and the next day, there is none. Sure, it will all happen at the right time but then, sometimes I feel the time isn't right.

Speaking of Christmas, I doubt if I would be relaxed and able to do things the way I want. Last year, had me going through a tough time and a realisation made me hope, and I was able to peacefully enjoy Christmas. What about this time? How will it be? I don't know. I am not expecting any Christmas spirit or excitement. I am alone like last time. This time, actually alone. It is all out of emotion and reaction and doing something makes things better and makes you not think of things. I am trying my level best with the same, you know. 

Sometimes, the plan don't work the same way as expected and then it happens. what you don't want to happen at all. Do you even know what you are talking about?

The blog seems to be inconsistent as well. It is not intentional and I know there is a lot to talk about. What about it?