I have finally reached Level 1; a Seeker after 17 months of being a Rookie. I would have become a Seeker earlier if I had maintained consistency in writing. Now I am really going to try that. I don't have to think too hard about writing as I will know what you want to write when I sit down to write. And there are many other things you want to share that will come through the course of time and shouldn't be forced at all as the thoughts should flow freely. 

 It has been ten weeks since I came here. A lot has happened and still not a lot has happened. Classes are going fine, we don't have classes every day and so there is a lot of time to do other things such as part-time which is still pending. Since I am staying at a relative's place, I don't get to do too many things, not that I am being restricted but I clearly feel them. The feeling will still be there once I move near my University which will happen early next year. 

The weather is another concern as it gets colder; so cold that you aren't used to it and have to wrap up fully; not complaining but it is better than humidity. Cold is fine but not the rain. So can't go out if it rains. And it bothers me to sit inside for too long. The only time I feel that I am in the UK is when I step and am surrounded by white people. I don't feel it when I am surrounded by my native people. I am the happiest when I get to go to class; especially while traveling there where I am surrounded by whites at the stations, trains, bus stops and finally the uni. I feel good even if I wasn't doing anything. 

I have mentioned the times I enjoyed solitude but sometimes being alone doesn't feel that good. Sometimes, it bothers you and your mind is troubled that you want to shout and break out (which you can't because people will think you are mad or in danger.)  I am not saying that I am feeling very low but you know you don't always need to have a reason to feel happy or sad. So that happens in my case, quite moody and also little tired because of the weather that you want to wrap up in blankets. 

I know whatever I am feeling now will be gone once I get a good night's sleep. And it isn't sleep that is troubling me but something else I am not sure of or can't tell. Being alone makes you strong even if it isn't easy and that is what I want and it is those burnouts that occur. Watching few episodes of a sitcom or going for a walk might help but not always. It is all about the timing and the headspace.

Anyways, that's all for now. thank you so much for reading. I will see you in the next one.