I heard this true story from a friend of mine.  His parents run a matrimonial office for marriage candidates. He was saying that some people are really crazy when they tell their expectations. To mention a few here, one 50-year-old man was seeking a girl in her 20s to marry. Then there was another girl who asked that the boys willing to marry should also mention which mobile or car they belong so that it can convey their financial status or they directly mention that his salary must be above Rs. 50000. Some girls say that they won't look after their in-laws and will prefer to live separately. 

Even I got shocked hearing such ridiculous expectations. What are they really looking for? Is it a life partner or some gadget to accompany? I can understand the meaning of “well-settled” but what are its limits? How can you judge a person from his belongings and financial status? There are cases where even a high-profile husband has harassed his well-educated wife for dowry.  

On the other hand, there are many cases where poor or lower and upper-middle-class couples have lived together happily by making adjustments and respecting each other.  They have grown and progressed together. Because they value their relationship. So, the question comes here is What is really important for you? The person or your expectations?

We all know that a relationship stays stronger with love, trust, and respect. But do we really implement them? We forget that our life partner is a different and unique human being. He or she has a different background, has a different upbringing environment, has his or her own thoughts & opinions. We have to give some time to adjust to each other, understand each other. And that time also varies from person to person. Some may take a few months and some may take years. Understanding a whole person needs patience. 

But nowadays everyone wants instant results. Instant changes in their partner's nature. The moment your partner doesn't behave your way, you are hurt and you blame that person. Have you ever thought how your parents or elders in their 60s would have sustained their relationship? They also must have had fights and quarrels or differences in opinions. But they didn't give importance to those things. What was more important was their partner. None could imagine his or her life without the other half. 

Of course, there are exceptions. And there might be cases where separation and divorce is the only option for the wellbeing of both. But to some extent, we need to think and reflect on what do we really want in our partner? Money can be earned, status can be improved together. But what is more important is how sincere, responsible, honest, and loyal that person is. Remember, self-respect and ego have a very thin line between them. So we must be clear on what is more important to us? Person or Expectations?