It was the year 2008, I was in 5th grade and around that time, I really had an identity crisis. Haha I know right too early for a person to have an identity crisis but it was something close to that where I wasn't sure of what people would know me for or even why someone would know me, What reason have i given them?! inspite of having read books and encyclopedias from the age of 7, I couldn't speak much to others, I was such an under confident, Insecure kid due to various different reasons, And I was desperate to be known for something and I decided to capitalise on whatever I knew or could possibly do. That's when I wrote a story named “Myth of the ghost” along with my bestfriend and we almost worked on it for a month and drafted the entire story. And I went on to type it out and made a printout, Infact I was very serious about this whole idea of publishing my own story as a 10 year old seemed magnificent as this identity crisis was really taking over and affecting my confidence😂 The fact of the matter was that I was quite an unpopular kid, Which really bothered me as I was not known by many since I lacked any sort of talent. I was known for only two things, One was for being the younger brother of a super studious and a high profile champion athlete and the next thing I was known was for being a weirdo ( Who spoke to trees and drew guns and missiles all over my rough note and many more)

 Neither was I good at studies nor was I a sports material up until that point. So in order to be known for something I really wanted to be talented at something. Something which would make me very unique and special and for me the only thing I knew was that I was good with reading books and writing stuff. I wasn't confident enough to muster up the courage to speak English or even articulate the simplest of things, I was the type of kid who wouldn't answer even if he knew the answer very well, just because of the sheer anxiety that would cause, so I wrote and drew.  

Hoping that I would be able to claim a name for myself as a writer, which would give me some type of identity. But at that time I wrote two stories after that and I was just done with it as I slowly started to figure out that I have something else which could really turn me into a sports material and thus I went on with athletics over writing because I wanted to be known as an athlete more than a writer, because I felt that'd make me famous amongst the students lol, I know I was such a desperate kid. Not desperate for attention, maybe to an extent I was but largely it was for creating an own identity for myself.  

But the passion for writing continued for years after that in a different way, I wrote diaries from the age of 12-16 and was very consistent with it too, wasn't the type of person who would write for a day and then forget about it totally. I wrote almost 3 full books of memories, probably around 1000 pages but when I lost one of those books which probably had around 400-500 pages written and almost 2 and half years of memories, I was heartbroken and disappointed knowing how valuable it was and I lost it. It was gone and I knew it just wouldn't come back, After this I completely stopped writing. Everything came to a halt and I just wasn't interested in writing anymore. It's been 8 years and I still wish I could find that lost diary someday or Atleast know how it went missing or who threw that gem away without knowing it's inexplicable value. 

But then, back in 2016 . Two years after the prior incident, I started writing on digital platforms like Wattpad and Instagram where I'd share pictures with lengthy captions. My Wattpad profile was used for pure writing and had about 10 stories and 320K reads overall but unfortunately it got taken down recently for god knows why and I couldn't get back my profile. 

 It took almost 5 years for me to get back to writing on paper, When I was doing a course on film direction and script writing, I preferred paper over keyboard ( After June 2019, I started to maintain a diary for important events alone and all my YouTube video scripts gets done on paper even today)

However when I came across candlemonk, It really intrigued me and once I came across the platform I was super pumped and excited to go back to my old ways of writing. but this time its not because of any personal aspirations but simple because of the love I have deep down for writing stuff, It has a been a silent companion for me over the years but I never realised that until a platform like this excited me and made me aware of the secret love I have for writing. 

My goal is to just simply write and share about my past experiences and lessons and also about my insights on things I know very well with a serious consideration of proving immense amount of value to my readers. Even if its just read by 5 or 10, The goal is provide value, positivity and good content based on my life, my truth and learnings. 

if you had spend 5 minutes reading my entire blog I just want to make sure that you take something out of it, some providence of value. Be it in terms of entertainment, knowledge, positivity, thoughts ETC.  I want your time spent on my blog to be useful for you in someway or another.

Extremely glad i'm back to my good old ways of writing and this time with a sense of goal.

Ladies & Gentleman, Boys & Girls. I'm kishore and I thank you if you've made to the end of my first Blog.  

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