“Take risks in your life.

If you win, you can lead,

if you lose, you can guide.”

Swami Vivekananda

After scrutinizing a plethora of coaching, I finally found the best institute which could aid me in clearing the competitive exam which will lend me to my dream alma mater. Yup! it is a point of contention for innumerable students as to what are they genuinely passionate about. It was not a cakewalk for me either after exploring a ton of options and failing in them devastatingly. Finally, I recognized what my true calling was and what did I want out of my life.

So, as to realize my dreams, I started my coaching, took a P.G. close to it to save traveling time, joined a library to stay motivated and not to let the attention drawn away from the goals and not to lose the enthusiasm for studying, started The Hindu newspaper to enhance my current affairs knowledge along with English.

Now, begins the real battle. I made a to-do list of what I had to do, completed all the homework, did extra questions, asked doubts to teachers, revised whatever was taught in class, and also read in advance so that I can take lead over other students, I changed my phone number so that no one could contact me and only my mother, father, brother, study buddy and sister had my number, gave a sitting for more than 10 hours( damn!! it gave unbearable backbone pain, constant cramps in the legs, neck paining as if it will fall apart the next moment), bathing early morning( BIG CHALLENGE FOR ME..lol)

I worked hard to step out of my comfort zone and trust me it was arduous but worthy eventually. I left no stone unturned, did everything that I never did before, completely involved myself in the studies, making strategies, made a variety of timetable to study different subjects, analyzed thee strategies, changed them, analyzed my strengths and weaknesses worked on my weaknesses step by step, asked doubts in class( no matter how moronic they were even in front of more than 100 students because I knew if I shy out here I may lose in the battle of achieving my goals which I didn't want at any cost), in my study break, I don't use to talk or chat online but I preferred solving quizzes and watching current affairs youtube videos or making notes.

When other students used to gossip, I used to revise or study something extra and yeah, that gave a relieving feeling and not stress. It is just an excuse that we make to satisfy our insecurities that no one can study all the time. The reality is yes you can but it depends on how strong is the fire you have in you to clear your exams and fulfill your fantasies. It depends on how desperately do you want to make your parents and yourself proud of you, how desperately do you want to avenge all your defeats, how desperately do you want to shut the mouths of people (through your success) and how desperately do you want to prove yourself and shield your dignity.

And I 1st time ever in my life did exercise and yoga each day and yeah that succored me in saving me from depression as I am emotional and had sui*idal tendencies in past( ahh! I had I miserable past and it is more painful to recall those terrific memories and regret that you should have listened to your heart once). But doing exercises, finding a mentor who made my hustle worthy. I used to stay with my sister who was consummate at quickly recognizing whenever I am downhearted and counseled me to be prudent. I am grateful to all of them. :)

But life is like a roller coaster ride and nothing stays stable. When the exam date came closer the authorities completely change the pattern and introduced changes which I think was a conspiracy to not let me clear this exam as my strong portion was omitted and all topics which were my weakness were added. I almost gave up but then somehow I gathered strength and worked for it because I was ready to fail but not ready to give up at that crucial time, as the pain of not fighting is much more than failing. Then later they again changed the pattern, this time I broke down but then too again stood up and decided to fight because you know at the end it doesn't matter whether you make it or not but what matters is that had you ran away from the battleground like a coward or fought with all that you had in you. By, this time I started going into depression and didn't felt like studying. I just used to sit near the window and cry for no reason, I lost self believe and then COVID came, all coaching, libraries, etc everything closed. And this time I really got shattered and couldn't stand up and then I started scoring low in tests and which demotivated me even more, I didn't talk to my friends, etc. that was another pain. But somehow I did some studies and then exam day came.

I lost all hope of clearing the exam but just a few days before I decided to fight one more time and this time I astounded myself, I gave like 6 to 7-hour continuous sitting and covered a lot of syllabi, attended tests, and analyzed them. And I was happy that even if I don't clear the exam I had picked myself up at the last moment but in the exam hall, they changed the pattern again(God damn!!) but I was stubborn to fight even till the exam got over because the GAME IS NOT OVER unless you stop fighting.

And to my surprise, I scored well and was in the top 0.3% of the whole country and also got the same college as that of one of the toppers of my class;). (that gives more pleasure you know..lol)

That day I realized you are much more worthy than you think so don't judge yourself by what happened in past( you just can't say a fish is talentless because it can't fly). All you need to do is just believe in yourself, stay positive, keep going no matter how slow, and don't compare yourself to anyone. YOU ARE UNIQUE and much more talented than you think. Find out your true calling, take a stand for your dreams because it is you who want it so what do you think responsibility is it to make it happen? Obviously, it's your responsibility., do research, make strategies, implement them, work consistently, refreshen yourself, and just don't give up.

All the powers in the universe are already ours. It is we who have put our hands before our eyes and cry that it is dark."- Swami Vivekananda

GO GET IT CHAMPION !!

Thanks

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