I wish I could put all this in words as easily as it happens when overthinking or over-analyzing that paralyze your cognitive powers like decision making and makes you feel so numb that you could barely decide what you should do or whatnot. I don't know how easy or difficult it might to comprehend this but living in the dark brings the worst possible pain out there. Sometimes our actions get misunderstood and sometimes assumptions get the best of us, all you try to do is to silence the chaos in your mind. You are scared,  completely frightened imagining the worst-case and you will never know what could have happened actually after the anticipation of chaos and there's doubt if you will ever know that until that person may make efforts to make you aware of things which I believe won't be easy. 

There's nothing you can do to prove your loyalty and commitment when the demand of the situation is to hold yourself back and getting silent because you don't want to cause more trouble that what you already did. There's this conflicts of conscience if what you are doing is right or not but it can be surely justified with genuine reasons. Nobody gives up, nobody breaks promises, nobody ran away, but whatever any individual does, it must be to keep things safe instead of making it more vulnerable. Sometimes the safest ways come from the hard choices. If someone did leave 'BW' , it wasn't because they end things from their side, they did that because they wanted to keep that part safe, because they were afraid that just like other things that would be found and make things even worst. 

Whatever that person might have done, it might be irrational but that seemed the only right thing to do at that moment. It doesn't mean they wanted to end it all but they just had to drop it down for a while. 

Sometimes people get mad about reasons unknown to them because they aren't aware of actual realities. They have right to be mad, but you just can't sure if they seriously gave up on you this time or if there will ever come around or give you the closure you actually deserve, because if it's really an end then at least you deserve to know reasons and realities so you can accept it and let it go. But move on? Will that be even possible? No. Moving on isn't option after so much of investment and emotional involvement. Going a day without any form of communication seems the impossible idea so moving on without knowing anything at all seems out of question. But if a person wants then they can write and express things between the lines. Sometimes there are many hints but it takes a right person to read them. Will anything ‘between’ be possible again? Can they come ‘between’ you and your emotions? And will talking ‘between’ be safe? 

So many questions and so many things for an insane person to read. Let's hope to read between the lines on the other side.