Dear Love,

          I am writing this letter to you, because there are many things I wanted to tell you, to confess you. But now due to this unreverseble circumstances I can't reach to you, no matter how far I travel… 

              You know what ! When I see those "Movies where two Childhood friends get apart in their childhood and meet eachother again in some hopelessly romantic way when they grow up and fall in love or just f**king remember there love..." I think, something like that can't be possible for me, not because I am some just avarage idiot girl, (ok that can be a reason but that's not the reason now…) But  just because my childhood friend, my only hope, not live here anymore. You bought a "expensive" ticket and flew far far away in some another word.....(You idiot, commited suicide in your twenties ). We got apart in our childhood but you messed up f**king getting together again part…

                I still have many questions for you some of them as silly as ‘why you did that?’ but unfortunately you are not here anymore to answer. And you know what, I really hate you for that. As well as I hate myself, cause when there's time, I was never able to gather enough courage to go and tell you that, “I like you.” I was waiting for “right” time, that's my reason. We were in our 10th class at that time, ‘too busy to confess and to young to understand love…’ that's what I thought and postponed my plans of confession for future. But thanks to you that future never came to me.

               For you I was just one of your friends but for me you are my best friend, my first love… and I guess just as they says, “Your first love never ment to get complete.” it has truth somewhere. If I know that it will turns out like this, I would have never liked you in a first place. Cause it's hard to live like this. Not able to fall in love again. Not able to forget you, even after this long time. Thanks to you I got some kind of phobia for love now. Cause whenever I feel like I got too close to someone, I unconsciously cut them from my life, cause I fear “what if they leave me when I get to much attache to them! What if they leave me alone just like you did…!" 

              Then again, I can't blame you for my situation, cause afterall it's one-sided till the end. I am not even sure that I really loved you or it was just some silly illusion of young heart… but it hurts a lot even now to the point where I think, "if I can't be close to you, I'll settle for the ghost of you cause I miss you more than life…" I know it's illogical and stupid but I seriously miss you more than life.

         And look even after all this time I can't even fully blame you, I am still waiting for you like some idiot. I still think, "In my next life, I will definitely find you first and love you, In the life after that and the life after that too. I'll find you first and love you...
I hope one day I could touch you and reach you as much as I want...
I hope I could wrap my arms around you and hug you... And tell you how much I love you… 

Wanted to be yours,

Hey folks, I hope you like this blog. Will meet in a next blog again Until then Peace ✌️☮️