It has been a while since I have written something. This time I decided to write raw. I just want to let the readers know that I was feeling numb all the while. A lot of happy moments occurred in my life. I am grateful to each of them. But social media spoiled the good time. 

Two days back, I happened to come across a social media post. A self-acclaimed motivational speaker's words. She was talking about suicide. From the very beginning, she eliminated the sensitivity of the issue. As we all know, the pandemic has imposed a lot of pressure on us. Many people eventually began to lose hope. A lot of them ended up their lives. She called this a ‘trend’. Suicide is not a freaking trend. 

Later, she began to give reasons for this. There were many positive messages. But the way in which it was presented looked disapproving. 

For her suicide happens from immaturity and optimism has the power to cure it. Being a psychology graduate, I found this to be an extremely wrong solution. Suicide is always concerned with mental health, and it is important to seek and give help. Although many of my friends did try correcting her, she ignored them all by turning off the comments section. 

I respect the choices and opinions of people. But it is also important to acknowledge one's mistake. Especially, motivational speakers. 

You inspire many. May your words be well and wise. I am tired to write today. I am sad to witness the misuse of the right to freedom. 

I realized that the minimum word limit is 400 words. What am I supposed to do? 

Scribble? Write anything so that I make money and gain recognition? Why do I have this crazy mood swing that I even want to throw everything away?

What am I doing? Was yelling at people enough? Did it profit me by any means? 

Why do I think about people who left me? Why do I still wish them to be beside me even when I know that they can only do more harm? 

Why do I not feel attacked, but instead numb? Why don't I even try to understand what I am? 

And why does it ache right on my chest? I thought I had no emotions. 

I tried my best. I am still trying. 

To learn to live and love. 

Now I hit a 400.