I don't understand what I am writing. Somedays, words slip out of my tongue like a shield. On some other days, they become a dagger that is strong enough to bleed the heart of another. 

There were days where all of these have felt surreal. When my heart felt heavy like this, I wrote things that helped to convince myself that I was never wrong. All the while, I believed that my feelings were not understood. Today, I understand that I am wrong. And I acknowledge. But a mob stands ahead to attack me today. They are never ready to acknowledge. My heart bleeds, yet my eyes have decided to not tear up. Are my feelings real? Some twists and turns that our mind takes is very difficult to understand. It annoys the hell out of me. 

Today, I say, I am not interested. The next day, I muster up energy. But before I am in for the adventure, the rest leaves me out and that feels pathetic. I love to stay at home forever, but I also wish I travelled around, ALL ALONE. But the world has stopped moving; has caged us in the pandemic. 

Today, I see happiness. Tonight, I will weep. I cage myself in a world where no one can see me. The inner demons pressure me to reveal secrets. Yet, the soul in me decides to retaliate and be at my own pace. I know time runs out if not used well. But I just let things be as it is. Thoughts like these makes me question my own personality. 

Being an introvert is not that easy. There will always be people around you who thinks you are having a crazy mood swing or sadness. 

They would often ask us to join them. But most of the introverts neglect it as they prefer to be alone. Their happiness is at being alone. They gain the peace of state of mind only when they are alone. This does not mean that they are sad. It is also difficult to make others understand. I have gone through a lot for being an introvert. Earlier, this used to take hold of my emotions. Now, I do not care about it at all. I have become totally immune to people calling me ‘negative’. It doesn't hurt me anymore. 

If you are an introvert, ignore what the world says so that it will help you to gain the peace that you are craving for.