Criticizing is an art that 99% people have mastered because it makes you feel safe, strong, in control and superior.

How is your relation with the people you have criticized by far?

Complaining about something or someone can get really boring. I mean, how long can you go on saying, “Yaar usne mere saath aisa kiya kaise?” Like seriously dude, get over it. 

Or maybe complain about the fact that how lazy someone is, how uptight someone is. Trust me I can go on with the list.

Have you ever stopped and looked at the person you complained about? How did they feel?

Condemn, completely disapproving (anything and everything because it was said or done by a person you dislike) 

Have you been in a situation before where your work, idea, logic or a mere suggestion was disapproved because it came from YOU. 

Well, when you do these things you might not be aware of the aftermath but if you are on the receiving end then you clearly realize how you feel after being criticized, belittled, disapproved. 

On the other hand if the above mentioned things are done while clearly explaining “What?”, “Why?”, “How?” and so on you will feel better about yourself, about the person who is saying so because apparently there is a valid reason/explanation. 

Example: 

A child constantly approaches the bonfire.

Scenario 1

Father: “Stay away from the fire.”

Child: Approaches the bonfire again.

Father: “Stay away from the fire.” (Slighlty raised voice) 

Child: Is afraid of the father but approaches the fire again after minutes.

 Father:  Slaps the child because he does not obey even after multiple warnings.

Scenario 2

Father: Takes the child in his arms and tells him “If you go near the fire, you will hurt yourself and then you will have to visit the doctor and take those bitter medicines and an injection” (let's the child go)

Child: You know what the child must have done ;)

Which scenario do you think is appropriate and why? 

Dealing with people is an art and the human psychology is such that the more you say 'no' the more the person does it, no matter the consequences.

I bet you might have experienced this atleast once. 

When someone tell you to not do something and does not elaborate the WHY? then you definitely do that prohibited thing. 

On the other hand, when someone does explain why not to do a thing along with the consequences, you avoid doing it because you know you will suffer. 

Next time when you tell someone not to do something don't forget to elaborate the ‘WHY?’